Many of us, including myself, can adopt a victim mentality when facing tough circumstances. We gravitate towards blame and fail to recognize His faithfulness in our lives. God has recently spoken to me that this is a slow death of our faith and reliance on Jesus. Here's a poem I wrote to illustrate what He has shown me:
A sinking ship.
My feet shackled to the floor of the deck
Birds in the air, soaring freely above my sunken spirit
I look around, the scenery tinted around me
I'm in a glass cage, with water rushing in around my feet
But the water at my feet comes not from the sea, but it flows from my eyes
Streams of tears trickle down my body-piling up at my feet
What seemed like minutes turned into months as the water rises up to my chin
A slow fade
I look out and see tiny creatures dancing on the deck around me
They are of many different colors, shapes, and sizes
Some spiked.
Some slimy.
Some dark.
Some light.
Some ferocious.
Some...seemingly harmless.
But they all have hungry looks in their eyes
And then, I know.
These are life's circumstances...
And they chain me down
My eyes strain for a closer look and
I see poverty, homelessness, and depression
I see fear, sickness, death, and doubt
I see fatherlessness, divorce, and abuse
I see failed relationships, lack of purpose, and filthy piles of sin stretched out for miles upon miles
Like little demons, they proclaim my demise
They want these waters to consume me and
Uncertainty plagues my future...
For a while, I give in to their game
After all...
Letting the sorrow consume me
Feels oddly warm at first.
It feels good to sulk in my own pain.
And then I realize...
I'm gasping for breath and
Before I know it
The birds of the air,
The splash of the waves
All become more and more distant
Then,
Like a quick snap of my senses,
Clarity comes to me.
I don't want to be consumed.
I know that I have a purpose.
I have dreams -
A life to live,
People who love me and
New experiences to embrace
Defeated, I understand that
My decisions to sulk have won this battle
But I can't give up hope
I must do something!
I cry out to the ONLY one who can save me
"God I need you! Please save me!"
And then,
Like a knight in shining armor,
He comes.
In one quick sonic boom,
A wave of peace shoots out like an earthquake.
I open my eyes
And the cage is gone,
The shackles have vanquished,
The sun is shining brighter than ever and
A new breeze calms my soul
I look around,
Astonished.
My circumstances-
Have turned into testimonies
And the birds of the air are now replaced
With angels, reminding me of God's glory.
The weight lifts off of my shoulders and
My stomach ties up into a ticklish knot
I'm reminded...
My Jesus loves me...
And He is with me.
How quickly I forget,
That it is He who guides me
That it is He who leads me by still waters.
He makes me lie down in green pastures
And gives me hope.
He...gives...me...REST.
I'm reminded...
Oh, how quickly I forget.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-Romans 8:38-39
