Today was/is kind of a cranky day. Ever have those? Don't lie. I was sitting on my bed earlier and I was crankily pondering some shortcomings and flaws of people.
Before you write me off as judgmental, read what I have to say. I was thinking about how some people are so consumed by certain things, certain ways of thinking. But I guess that most everyone is affected by some mental fallacy or another.
All of the experiences, beliefs, and emotions (as well as our personality) we have ultimately characterize who we are and how we think. And to be plain, sometimes people just don't get it. Ever see someone that continues to behave a certain way or do something so seemingly stupid in your eyes over and over again? And again? In your eyes, it's like watching someone walk repeatedly into a wall. Over and over again. And what's more? If they took one step to their right they would walk through the open doorway.
We all know that one person that walks into the wall. The one that is so close to getting to the other side of the wall, but instead chooses to eat the paint. Or perhaps the one person who really deserves to be on the other side of the wall who just won't take that step to their right. All they have is that one step to their right and they can keep on trudging forward. It's frustrating, really. Watching them walk into the wall can be both angering and heartbreaking.
What can that wall be, you ask? Well, it could be anything from the smoker who just escaped cancer for the second time to the person in the abusive relationship to the person who has so much to offer to friends and God but is so busy chasing after love and glory all for themselves.
I have friends, many friends, that I see walking into walls. Some of the more obvious walls I deem dangerous--especially if those walls are blocking them from a deeper relationship with the Lord, or are preventing them from being a whole, healthy individual. But what about the small ones?
Like ditching your friends to hang out with cooler cats? Or knowing that you need to get a Statistics tutor, but refusing? These are walls, sure. We know that we roll our eyes (in our head, of course) when people make these poor choices. Because these are just plain poor choices.
Do all walls merit the eye roll though? I mean, we are all influenced strongly by our experiences, beliefs, emotions, and our personality right? We can only see through our own eyes. We only know lessons that we ourselves have learned. And if we haven't learned a particular lesson, then we walk into the wall.
What we walk into is a result of our own ignorance. And what we avoid is obviously a lesson learned. Looking at the lives of others and rolling our eyes isn't the best thing we can do to help other people. What they know is a lot different from what we know. Maybe they haven't learned self control or they can't go to Jesus yet for something that they so desperately desire. We just have to sit back and pray that they take a moment to breathe. As well as take a step to the right before pressing onward.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Struggle in the Spotlight
Today I found myself questioning some things. I'm a psychology major you see, and ironically most of what I know doesn't come from courses or textbooks. It's in my software. I was born with it. A gift from God, I would say. For the first time in a long long time, I am questioning what I know on therapy and coping and the like. And since I am at work and have four more hours of sitting here, let me share with you what's on my frontal lobes.
I've been reading a blog. An interesting one, in fact. The guy recently stepped down as a leader of a well renowned Christian organization. At least it's well known from where I am from. He is fairly well known around these parts, and I sure hope he never reads this post because I'm talking about his business.
Anyway, he fell. And he fell hard. That's what I get from his blog anyway. I don't know much about what happened. The words of his blog are my only account for what happened, and apparently he had a breakdown which resulted in his resignation. I believe he was the founder of the organization as well.
It's good literature really, a unique blend of comedic despondency. He can write quite well--uses big words. Big for me, anyhow. Odds are, you won't trip over my vocabulary. Not in this blog. He must have read a lot of books. You know what they say.
He started this blog which is basically dedicated to him getting his life back together. He gives his readers an account of his emotions, his struggles, and his doubts. Normally, I would encourage such behavior, but something doesn't sit well with me as I read through his posts.
Regardless of the fact that he stepped down from a leadership position, a role that he holds no more, the weight and the residue of that position sticks with him. After all, a former President of the United States is still addressed as President even if they aren't currently holding office. I believe that even though he's not a leader officially anymore, all eyes are still on him and his actions still carry a lot more weight than most "ordinary" individuals.
So when I read about how he's really ticked off at God and how it would suck to be him, something doesn't sit right with me. I can't explain it. It's difficult. It's not that I think that it's wrong to be mad at God. Or to express one's own feelings and trials. But to put it up for the world to see?
The spotlight shines on you as a leader. People are watching. And what's more, not everyone is going to understand what you are going through. Some might even misinterpret. I suppose you can't trust everyone to understand that what you are going through is temporary and to a certain degree, normal. You can't expect everyone to know that you hold uncompromisable truth inside of you, while anger and doubt are merely lurking on the surface.
And how do people start to feel about God when they read these things? Does it affirm what they have been struggling not to believe? That God is this merciless dictator that enjoys ripping everything away from us? That's not to say that God can be measured by how well His followers behave. God is God. And He is the epitome of good. But those of a weaker faith can look at you and it can just affirm them in the weakness of their faith or their view of God. How do our actions and the things we say affect our testimony?
I don't know. I just don't agree with how he is recovering from this. If writing is how he is going to cope and heal, it'd be wise to make it private. Others are watching.
I've been reading a blog. An interesting one, in fact. The guy recently stepped down as a leader of a well renowned Christian organization. At least it's well known from where I am from. He is fairly well known around these parts, and I sure hope he never reads this post because I'm talking about his business.
Anyway, he fell. And he fell hard. That's what I get from his blog anyway. I don't know much about what happened. The words of his blog are my only account for what happened, and apparently he had a breakdown which resulted in his resignation. I believe he was the founder of the organization as well.
It's good literature really, a unique blend of comedic despondency. He can write quite well--uses big words. Big for me, anyhow. Odds are, you won't trip over my vocabulary. Not in this blog. He must have read a lot of books. You know what they say.
He started this blog which is basically dedicated to him getting his life back together. He gives his readers an account of his emotions, his struggles, and his doubts. Normally, I would encourage such behavior, but something doesn't sit well with me as I read through his posts.
Regardless of the fact that he stepped down from a leadership position, a role that he holds no more, the weight and the residue of that position sticks with him. After all, a former President of the United States is still addressed as President even if they aren't currently holding office. I believe that even though he's not a leader officially anymore, all eyes are still on him and his actions still carry a lot more weight than most "ordinary" individuals.
So when I read about how he's really ticked off at God and how it would suck to be him, something doesn't sit right with me. I can't explain it. It's difficult. It's not that I think that it's wrong to be mad at God. Or to express one's own feelings and trials. But to put it up for the world to see?
The spotlight shines on you as a leader. People are watching. And what's more, not everyone is going to understand what you are going through. Some might even misinterpret. I suppose you can't trust everyone to understand that what you are going through is temporary and to a certain degree, normal. You can't expect everyone to know that you hold uncompromisable truth inside of you, while anger and doubt are merely lurking on the surface.
And how do people start to feel about God when they read these things? Does it affirm what they have been struggling not to believe? That God is this merciless dictator that enjoys ripping everything away from us? That's not to say that God can be measured by how well His followers behave. God is God. And He is the epitome of good. But those of a weaker faith can look at you and it can just affirm them in the weakness of their faith or their view of God. How do our actions and the things we say affect our testimony?
I don't know. I just don't agree with how he is recovering from this. If writing is how he is going to cope and heal, it'd be wise to make it private. Others are watching.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Choices
Choices.
Do you ever feel like every choice that you make weighs about a thousand pounds? Even the small ones? Like that extra stop to the drive thru at McDonald’s to get some French fries, or taking that alternate route to your car when you see someone you know walking your way? Because you are just too tired and not in the mood to take five seconds out of your day to say a quick, “Hello, how are you?”
Lately, almost always, my life feels like every little small decision I make has so much weight attached to it, and no matter how hard I try to make the significant and good choice, my life ends up being a pile of these tiny disappointments that seem to grow bigger every day. Then one day I look over my shoulder and see that heaping mound of disappointment. Disappointment in myself, mostly. Most people aspire to be good. Most people desire to make the right choices. Including me. Disappointment often awaits when we don’t meet that good person mark.
Recently all I’ve begun to see in my life is how I’ve failed to save, failed to study, failed to come through when someone really needs me. Everywhere I turn it seems as if I am letting someone down. Or myself. Maybe it’s because I have unrealistic goals. Maybe it’s because I rely too much on my own strength.
This past Sunday, someone whom I’ve grown to love deeply, who is someone I can really look up to and trust that they have godly wisdom, prayed for me and he said something that really struck me. First, he said that Jesus separates us thousands of miles away from our sin. But what does this mean exactly? I still sin. Does that mean my sin doesn’t matter anymore? This is where that mentality is born. The one that thinks. “I’m saved, so I can do anything I want and it’s good.” I don’t buy that mentality. Maybe then, this means that Jesus offers a way from the bondage of sin. Like His powerful arm stretched out to pull us out of that hole we are so willing to step back in to. Perhaps one can’t take that very literally. Jesus separates us from our sin, but that isn’t freedom to keep walking in it. With Jesus’ mighty arm, we can be pulled out of that pit and begin that thousand mile journey away from it. Every day we grow deeper into Him, we are separated a mile or so from our sin. That’s my interpretation.
Anyways, I digress. He also said that everyday I need to go to Jesus to renew my purpose. This hit me like a ton of bricks. It makes me quite emotional, honestly. I’ve seen and heard of so many people lose their purpose. That’s not to say that God’s purpose for us is written in pencil per se. I don’t want to lose my purpose. I’ve grown too attached to it. I think that the enemy yearns, strives, needs, wants, and wars to steal the purpose of the saints. Think about it. As God’s chosen people, we all have gifts, special gifts, whether we chose to believe it or not. Sure, there are flashy and fancy gifts like prophecy or speaking in tongues, but the Bible says that there is no differing weight to any of these gifts. The person who does miracles in the name of Jesus isn’t higher or lower than the person that serves in children’s ministry. We are all needed in the body of Christ, and if everyone in the body performed miracles and gave prophecies then it wouldn’t be the body of Christ that God ordained. Every role plays a part. So if Satan can steal your purpose from you, whether it be children’s ministry, worship, or a heart for the nations, he is taking a piece of God’s finished puzzle. Does that make the puzzle any less glorious? Heck no. But the devil desires to rob people of purpose and destiny because God has great plans for each and every believer, and these plans have a significant role in eternity. A child that you help grow in children’s ministry could help ignite an entire country for Jesus or grow up to be the pastor of a Church that changes a community forever.
So when this man tells me to renew my purpose in Jesus every day, I’m reminded that there is a lion lurking, waiting. Seeking to devour my purpose and my destiny. Where does that bring me back to?
Choices.
All the wrong choices, the disappointment. All the wandering around aimlessly because I’ve forgotten my purpose and ultimately, my identity. Our choices reflect what’s going on inside of us. Our actions and behaviors are rooted in our thoughts. And when our relationship with Jesus is dwindling and that spiritual amnesia is coming back (the one that makes you forget of His great love, and all He’s done for you) our choices become poor in quality. We need to renew our purpose. We need to remind ourselves who we are in Christ. Because it’s so easy to forget for some reason. When we have our purpose in mind, it will be much easier to make choices that go along with that purpose, ones that reflect our godly character--a changed heart and mind.
I guess I need to focus less on the choices I’m making, the ones that reflect a forgotten purpose and focus on the Lord, who has my purpose etched in stone. He’ll be glad to show it to me anytime I like.
Do you ever feel like every choice that you make weighs about a thousand pounds? Even the small ones? Like that extra stop to the drive thru at McDonald’s to get some French fries, or taking that alternate route to your car when you see someone you know walking your way? Because you are just too tired and not in the mood to take five seconds out of your day to say a quick, “Hello, how are you?”
Lately, almost always, my life feels like every little small decision I make has so much weight attached to it, and no matter how hard I try to make the significant and good choice, my life ends up being a pile of these tiny disappointments that seem to grow bigger every day. Then one day I look over my shoulder and see that heaping mound of disappointment. Disappointment in myself, mostly. Most people aspire to be good. Most people desire to make the right choices. Including me. Disappointment often awaits when we don’t meet that good person mark.
Recently all I’ve begun to see in my life is how I’ve failed to save, failed to study, failed to come through when someone really needs me. Everywhere I turn it seems as if I am letting someone down. Or myself. Maybe it’s because I have unrealistic goals. Maybe it’s because I rely too much on my own strength.
This past Sunday, someone whom I’ve grown to love deeply, who is someone I can really look up to and trust that they have godly wisdom, prayed for me and he said something that really struck me. First, he said that Jesus separates us thousands of miles away from our sin. But what does this mean exactly? I still sin. Does that mean my sin doesn’t matter anymore? This is where that mentality is born. The one that thinks. “I’m saved, so I can do anything I want and it’s good.” I don’t buy that mentality. Maybe then, this means that Jesus offers a way from the bondage of sin. Like His powerful arm stretched out to pull us out of that hole we are so willing to step back in to. Perhaps one can’t take that very literally. Jesus separates us from our sin, but that isn’t freedom to keep walking in it. With Jesus’ mighty arm, we can be pulled out of that pit and begin that thousand mile journey away from it. Every day we grow deeper into Him, we are separated a mile or so from our sin. That’s my interpretation.
Anyways, I digress. He also said that everyday I need to go to Jesus to renew my purpose. This hit me like a ton of bricks. It makes me quite emotional, honestly. I’ve seen and heard of so many people lose their purpose. That’s not to say that God’s purpose for us is written in pencil per se. I don’t want to lose my purpose. I’ve grown too attached to it. I think that the enemy yearns, strives, needs, wants, and wars to steal the purpose of the saints. Think about it. As God’s chosen people, we all have gifts, special gifts, whether we chose to believe it or not. Sure, there are flashy and fancy gifts like prophecy or speaking in tongues, but the Bible says that there is no differing weight to any of these gifts. The person who does miracles in the name of Jesus isn’t higher or lower than the person that serves in children’s ministry. We are all needed in the body of Christ, and if everyone in the body performed miracles and gave prophecies then it wouldn’t be the body of Christ that God ordained. Every role plays a part. So if Satan can steal your purpose from you, whether it be children’s ministry, worship, or a heart for the nations, he is taking a piece of God’s finished puzzle. Does that make the puzzle any less glorious? Heck no. But the devil desires to rob people of purpose and destiny because God has great plans for each and every believer, and these plans have a significant role in eternity. A child that you help grow in children’s ministry could help ignite an entire country for Jesus or grow up to be the pastor of a Church that changes a community forever.
So when this man tells me to renew my purpose in Jesus every day, I’m reminded that there is a lion lurking, waiting. Seeking to devour my purpose and my destiny. Where does that bring me back to?
Choices.
All the wrong choices, the disappointment. All the wandering around aimlessly because I’ve forgotten my purpose and ultimately, my identity. Our choices reflect what’s going on inside of us. Our actions and behaviors are rooted in our thoughts. And when our relationship with Jesus is dwindling and that spiritual amnesia is coming back (the one that makes you forget of His great love, and all He’s done for you) our choices become poor in quality. We need to renew our purpose. We need to remind ourselves who we are in Christ. Because it’s so easy to forget for some reason. When we have our purpose in mind, it will be much easier to make choices that go along with that purpose, ones that reflect our godly character--a changed heart and mind.
I guess I need to focus less on the choices I’m making, the ones that reflect a forgotten purpose and focus on the Lord, who has my purpose etched in stone. He’ll be glad to show it to me anytime I like.
Friendship
Friendship, I’m discovering, is a relationship that is packed with authority and power. Friendship is a journey that takes two people from one spot and deposits them in a completely different place. Because we are gifts to each other. We need each other to succeed. True friendship never leaves us the same. It changes and challenges us to be better individuals and just recently I’m finding more and more just how far off society’s version of friendship is from that of our Lord in Heaven.
I’m reading this book, entitled Waiting and Dating by Myles Munroe. I must admit that I was very taken aback when I started reading it and a good majority of the book deals with friendship. In fact, just moments ago I read about how a husband is to be a good friend to his wife. I had to stop reading and think for a minute. How often do we think of husband and wife as friends? I know that it is very rare for myself to have such a thought. Of course they must be friends, but we always aspire to be good husbands and wives. Do we ever aspire to be a good friend? To our spouse? To anyone?
All of the author’s writings on friendship got me thinking and analyzing my friendships, as well as the friend that I am to others. While it would be superb to think that all my friendships are stellar and that I am the best friend that has ever existed, I realized a few things. At the forefront of my thoughts is the fact that people my age in general, Christians even, don’t seem to exhibit true friend behavior. Maybe that is an exaggeration that is not in favor of what’s happening around me, but I feel as though my friendships have only barely tapped into their true destinies and potentials.
Friendships, when they reach an intimate level, have the power to change both parties as individuals. This is because intimate friendships exist not only to explore common interests and goals, but for the character development of each other--to be more like Christ. Intimate friendship means to be dedicated to the positive development of your friend’s character, in Christ. Let me backtrack a bit. Intimacy is not what the world thinks it is. Intimacy extends beyond the physical aspects. Far beyond. Intimacy has so much less to do with the body and so much more to do with the soul and spirit. Intimate friendships mean that both friends are connected on soulical and spiritual levels.
Now that in itself sounds pretty scary, and that’s because it is. True intimate friendship includes a lot of room for correction and maybe even a little confrontation. There is a comfortableness in which both friends can expose their innermost emotions, thoughts, and desires. There is room for one friend to tell the other that they are in the wrong, and if the friendship is truly intimate, the friend in the wrong knows better to be offended. This is because they know that their friend has their best interests at heart! And that they truly don’t mean to offend.
A major determinant of a successful friendship is whether or not the two people are on the same path, the same journey. If two people are on different paths then it would be a lot harder for them to be intimate friends. That is, unless one person compromises their morals to conform to the other’s. As Christians, we should develop godly friendships. That’s not say that we can’t be friends with the unsaved. Every believer is meant to have many friends and very many associates with the unsaved. However, intimate friendship usually only happens between Christian and Christian. That’s because they are on the same paths of life. Both pairs of eyes are on His Kingdom. And since both friends’ eyes are on Jesus, they know that they are in the walk together. They are walking down the same path, which allows for a unity, power, and safe haven that no other relationship can rival.
I think that as Christians, we are nowhere near as vulnerable with each other as we should be. We should feel safe enough to expose our innermost emotions, struggles, and desires with one another without being hurt and we should be able to do it without fear. I think as Christians, we shouldn’t be so self-centered. It sounds like a strange thing, and believe me this is strange to say, but I feel as though we should forget ourselves and care for our friends. And maybe then, if we have true friends, they will help us in our time of need. After all, the best way to get a friend, is to be one.
I know that I desire to be a better friend to my friends. To protect their integrity and honor. To weep with them in their dark hours, rejoice in the good times, and to edify them always. God has so much purpose for friendships. He can use them so much for His glory. I can’t wait to see that happen to me. It’ll be amazing.
I’m reading this book, entitled Waiting and Dating by Myles Munroe. I must admit that I was very taken aback when I started reading it and a good majority of the book deals with friendship. In fact, just moments ago I read about how a husband is to be a good friend to his wife. I had to stop reading and think for a minute. How often do we think of husband and wife as friends? I know that it is very rare for myself to have such a thought. Of course they must be friends, but we always aspire to be good husbands and wives. Do we ever aspire to be a good friend? To our spouse? To anyone?
All of the author’s writings on friendship got me thinking and analyzing my friendships, as well as the friend that I am to others. While it would be superb to think that all my friendships are stellar and that I am the best friend that has ever existed, I realized a few things. At the forefront of my thoughts is the fact that people my age in general, Christians even, don’t seem to exhibit true friend behavior. Maybe that is an exaggeration that is not in favor of what’s happening around me, but I feel as though my friendships have only barely tapped into their true destinies and potentials.
Friendships, when they reach an intimate level, have the power to change both parties as individuals. This is because intimate friendships exist not only to explore common interests and goals, but for the character development of each other--to be more like Christ. Intimate friendship means to be dedicated to the positive development of your friend’s character, in Christ. Let me backtrack a bit. Intimacy is not what the world thinks it is. Intimacy extends beyond the physical aspects. Far beyond. Intimacy has so much less to do with the body and so much more to do with the soul and spirit. Intimate friendships mean that both friends are connected on soulical and spiritual levels.
Now that in itself sounds pretty scary, and that’s because it is. True intimate friendship includes a lot of room for correction and maybe even a little confrontation. There is a comfortableness in which both friends can expose their innermost emotions, thoughts, and desires. There is room for one friend to tell the other that they are in the wrong, and if the friendship is truly intimate, the friend in the wrong knows better to be offended. This is because they know that their friend has their best interests at heart! And that they truly don’t mean to offend.
A major determinant of a successful friendship is whether or not the two people are on the same path, the same journey. If two people are on different paths then it would be a lot harder for them to be intimate friends. That is, unless one person compromises their morals to conform to the other’s. As Christians, we should develop godly friendships. That’s not say that we can’t be friends with the unsaved. Every believer is meant to have many friends and very many associates with the unsaved. However, intimate friendship usually only happens between Christian and Christian. That’s because they are on the same paths of life. Both pairs of eyes are on His Kingdom. And since both friends’ eyes are on Jesus, they know that they are in the walk together. They are walking down the same path, which allows for a unity, power, and safe haven that no other relationship can rival.
I think that as Christians, we are nowhere near as vulnerable with each other as we should be. We should feel safe enough to expose our innermost emotions, struggles, and desires with one another without being hurt and we should be able to do it without fear. I think as Christians, we shouldn’t be so self-centered. It sounds like a strange thing, and believe me this is strange to say, but I feel as though we should forget ourselves and care for our friends. And maybe then, if we have true friends, they will help us in our time of need. After all, the best way to get a friend, is to be one.
I know that I desire to be a better friend to my friends. To protect their integrity and honor. To weep with them in their dark hours, rejoice in the good times, and to edify them always. God has so much purpose for friendships. He can use them so much for His glory. I can’t wait to see that happen to me. It’ll be amazing.
Welcome!
Here lies the Spaghetti Chronicles! Right at your fingertips for your viewing pleasure. How fun!
Here I will take my thoughts and peruse them to create...more thoughts. I know that as I write, I'll make you think. But most importantly, I'll make myself think. I know I'll work some things out. So will you.
Enjoy!
Here I will take my thoughts and peruse them to create...more thoughts. I know that as I write, I'll make you think. But most importantly, I'll make myself think. I know I'll work some things out. So will you.
Enjoy!
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