Friendship

Friendship, I’m discovering, is a relationship that is packed with authority and power. Friendship is a journey that takes two people from one spot and deposits them in a completely different place. Because we are gifts to each other. We need each other to succeed. True friendship never leaves us the same. It changes and challenges us to be better individuals and just recently I’m finding more and more just how far off society’s version of friendship is from that of our Lord in Heaven.

I’m reading this book, entitled Waiting and Dating by Myles Munroe. I must admit that I was very taken aback when I started reading it and a good majority of the book deals with friendship. In fact, just moments ago I read about how a husband is to be a good friend to his wife. I had to stop reading and think for a minute. How often do we think of husband and wife as friends? I know that it is very rare for myself to have such a thought. Of course they must be friends, but we always aspire to be good husbands and wives. Do we ever aspire to be a good friend? To our spouse? To anyone?

All of the author’s writings on friendship got me thinking and analyzing my friendships, as well as the friend that I am to others. While it would be superb to think that all my friendships are stellar and that I am the best friend that has ever existed, I realized a few things. At the forefront of my thoughts is the fact that people my age in general, Christians even, don’t seem to exhibit true friend behavior. Maybe that is an exaggeration that is not in favor of what’s happening around me, but I feel as though my friendships have only barely tapped into their true destinies and potentials.

Friendships, when they reach an intimate level, have the power to change both parties as individuals. This is because intimate friendships exist not only to explore common interests and goals, but for the character development of each other--to be more like Christ. Intimate friendship means to be dedicated to the positive development of your friend’s character, in Christ. Let me backtrack a bit. Intimacy is not what the world thinks it is. Intimacy extends beyond the physical aspects. Far beyond. Intimacy has so much less to do with the body and so much more to do with the soul and spirit. Intimate friendships mean that both friends are connected on soulical and spiritual levels.

Now that in itself sounds pretty scary, and that’s because it is. True intimate friendship includes a lot of room for correction and maybe even a little confrontation. There is a comfortableness in which both friends can expose their innermost emotions, thoughts, and desires. There is room for one friend to tell the other that they are in the wrong, and if the friendship is truly intimate, the friend in the wrong knows better to be offended. This is because they know that their friend has their best interests at heart! And that they truly don’t mean to offend.

A major determinant of a successful friendship is whether or not the two people are on the same path, the same journey. If two people are on different paths then it would be a lot harder for them to be intimate friends. That is, unless one person compromises their morals to conform to the other’s. As Christians, we should develop godly friendships. That’s not say that we can’t be friends with the unsaved. Every believer is meant to have many friends and very many associates with the unsaved. However, intimate friendship usually only happens between Christian and Christian. That’s because they are on the same paths of life. Both pairs of eyes are on His Kingdom. And since both friends’ eyes are on Jesus, they know that they are in the walk together. They are walking down the same path, which allows for a unity, power, and safe haven that no other relationship can rival.

I think that as Christians, we are nowhere near as vulnerable with each other as we should be. We should feel safe enough to expose our innermost emotions, struggles, and desires with one another without being hurt and we should be able to do it without fear. I think as Christians, we shouldn’t be so self-centered. It sounds like a strange thing, and believe me this is strange to say, but I feel as though we should forget ourselves and care for our friends. And maybe then, if we have true friends, they will help us in our time of need. After all, the best way to get a friend, is to be one.

I know that I desire to be a better friend to my friends. To protect their integrity and honor. To weep with them in their dark hours, rejoice in the good times, and to edify them always. God has so much purpose for friendships. He can use them so much for His glory. I can’t wait to see that happen to me. It’ll be amazing.